The 3 C’s Of What To Do, When You Don’t Know What To Do
-Dr. Andrew St. Bernard
Have you ever felt that way before? Like you are totally stuck, and have no idea what to do? Even worse is when you know that doing nothing is not an option because the crisis you are in is worsening. I know how it feels, and I don’t wish that on anyone. You feel like you’re alone because you don’t know the kind of help you need, or if you do, it’s too difficult to ask. So what do you do when you don’t know what to do?
- Control your breathing
When we are under major stress, we tend to breathe more shallow rapid breaths. Did you know that by simply slowing your breathing rate by taking full deep breaths not only reduces heart rate and blood pressure, but increases mental clarity and focus? Getting oxygen to the brain is vital for all neuronal activities, so since breathing deeply is at least something you can control, do it first!
- Confront your fear
Now that you are thinking more clearly, it’s time to rationalize your fear. There is an acronym that you may have heard before that I think rings true to some degree: Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. Whatever it is that has you stressed, the fear you experience is your interpretation of events that are occurring (or could occur). If the negative event that you fear has not happened yet, then I can say with confidence that there is still hope. There is still a chance that things can go the right way instead. Besides, the Bible says, “God has not given us the spirit of fear”, so if you trust Him, know that He has better plans!
- Consult with someone
As I mentioned before, this may be a difficult task. There are options though. Obviously a trusted, well-informed friend to confide in and to consult for advice is the better option, as they would be able to give you ideas and support that you otherwise may not have access to. However, these friends may be difficult to find. As crazy as it sounds, talking to a stranger can be very helpful too. Calling a support/ help line is a great option to unload your problems and retain your anonymity.
These are not all encompassing steps, but will at least give you a start. The most important thing to know however is that even if there seems to be a slight or even non-existent chance for things to turn around, there is still hope. Cling to that hope, and ride out the storm. You’ll be surprised how much better things will actually be!